GO WHITE SOX!

My tribute to the Chicago Cubs - the worst team in all sports

What does C.U.B.S. really stand for?

Many people think that the Chicago Cubs name is not an acronym and is really just named after a baby bear. Oh how wrong they are to believe that. It is my duty as Sox fan and an upright citizen to help those uninformed individuals the truth behind what the Cubs stand for.

• Completely Useless by September
• Could U Beat Somebody
• Could you be suckier?
• Can Usually Blow Saves (or Series)
• Completely Useless By Spring
• Champions Until Baseball Starts
• Can Usually Be Swept
• Cork Used By Sammy
• Cubs Acronym
• Cant Undo Being Sucky
• Can't Understand Baseball Scoring
• Can't Understand Baseball Strategy
• Constantly Uttering Bull SH@* (When talking about Cub fans)
• Choke Under Baseball Stress
• Children Use Better Stategies
• Crap up baseball's sanctity
• Completely underachieving batters, starters
• Cry unnecessarily 'bout Stoney
• Constant untimely base-running snafus
• Cubs Utter Baker Sucks
• Continually Upstaged By Sox

Major Events that Have Occurred Since the Chicago Cubs Won Their Last World Series

-Both radio and TV were invented...

-Fourteen teams were added to Major League Baseball...

-George Burns celebrated his 10th, 20th, 30th, 40th, 50th, 60th, 70th, 80th, 90th --and 100th birthdays...

-Haley's comet passed Earth,....twice ...

-Harry Caray was born, and died...

-The NBA, NHL and NFL were formed, and Chicago teams won championships in each league...

-The US fought in two world wars, the Korean War, Vietnam War and 2 Persian Gulf Wars

-Man landed on the moon...

-Sixteen US presidents were elected...

-Eleven amendments added to the Constitution...

-Prohibition was created and repealed...

-The Titanic was built, set sail, sank, and was re discovered...

-Wrigley Field was built and becomes the oldest park in the National League...

-Flag poles were erected on Wrigley Field roof to hold all of the team's future World Series pennants, which have since rusted and been taken down...

-A combination of 40 Summer and Winter Olympics have been held...

-Thirteen baseball players have won the Triple Crown...

-Swing music, bell-bottoms, and disco came in style, went out of style and came back in style...

-The Chicago White Sox, Cleveland Indians, Boston Red Sox and Florida Marlins have all won the World Series; what next, the Expos?!?

-The Cubs played almost 15,000 regular-season games, losing the majority of them...

-Alaska, Arizona, Hawaii, Oklahoma and New Mexico were admitted to the Union...